Preparing For Your New Baby

Preparing For Your New Baby image

I know your trip to The Baby Show is an exciting and wonderful part of your pregnancy preparation and I’m sure you will find everything you could possibly need for your new arrivals. However, I also want to share something that is totally free but could make all the difference to your birth and feeding experiences in the first couple of weeks, and maybe longer.

I know your trip to The Baby Show is an exciting and wonderful part of your pregnancy preparation and I’m sure you will find everything you could possibly need for your new arrivals. However, I also want to share something that is totally free but could make all the difference to your birth and feeding experiences in the first couple of weeks, and maybe longer.

What I’m talking about is Planning!

Pretty obvious, right?

But I’ve been to families where those precious few days are marred by feelings of disappointment, failure, shock, or even trauma… All because the parents focussed too much on Plan A.

They decided what sort of birth they wanted, or how they wanted to feed their baby, and all their research and preparations were based on the assumption that that was what was going to happen. Unfortunately, Mother Nature (i.e. luck and biology) often has other ideas and very few women actually get to experience the birth exactly as they want it.

One of my clients checked with her private antenatal class and realised that only 2 out of 12 women got the birth they originally chose, and this fits pretty closely with my experience over the years. Women can change their minds about wanting pain relief/epidural, the birthing pool may not be available or medically advised at the time. Baby can change position at the last minute, get stuck, or need to come out in a hurry because of health concerns. The list really is endless.

The good news is that mum and baby are usually fine afterward, but the thing that will help you to cope most, both as they happen and afterward, is proper planning. By all means have your Plan A…but you also need a Plan B, a Plan C and even a Plan D (all the way through to Z if necessary!) Think about how you want things to go, but then start asking questions. Ask your antenatal class providers, ask other mothers, ask your obstetrician or doctor. Ask until you have all the answers that you need to reassure you that you are prepared for every eventuality.

What if I suddenly want an epidural? Can I ask for one? Am I likely to get one? what are the risks? What does it feel like?

What if I want a Vaginal Birth but end up needing a C-Section? What is involved? What exactly happens? Can my partner be there? Can I hold the baby immediately?  What extra care will I need at home?

The more knowledge you are armed with the more empowered and in charge, you will be at a time when it feels like you have little or no control over what is happening to your body. It can also make a huge difference in how you feel emotionally afterward.

The saddest thing is when I hear mums talking as if they had somehow ‘failed’ giving birth because things didn’t go as they had planned, and this feeling can last for a long time, even years. Rationally, they know that a healthy baby and mum is the best possible outcome for a birth, and can in no way be classed as any kind of a failure, but the irrational disappointment remains.

More good news…it doesn’t have to be that way. As you make your Plan A, Plan B and Plan C etc you are subconsciously accepting the possibility of multiple versions of the birth, and processing them as something positive. You have anticipated problems and made plans to deal with them in a constructive manner, and it will help even more if you consciously think your way through how you might feel if you end up on Plan B, C or D.

Talk it over with your partner if you have one, bring all your worries out into the open so they know how you might react and make sure they know how best to support you.The same process should be applied for feeding your baby, and this blog post will talk you through it in depth so please read it and make sure you are as well prepared as you can possibly be.

Come and check out my Baby Detective Facebook Page, and I also have a lovely free Parent Support Group that is non-judgemental, non-biased, and evidence-based if you have any questions or concerns.

Sarah x