1. Night Two Syndrome is Real (and Terrifying if You’re Unprepared)
You’ve made it through the first day with your newborn. You’re exhausted but elated. Then night two arrives, and suddenly your baby - who may have slept peacefully the night before - refuses to be put down. They want to feed constantly, crying inconsolably whenever they’re not latched. You might find yourself awake from midnight until 5am, your baby cluster feeding relentlessly whilst you panic that something is terribly wrong.

The truth? This is completely normal. Night two syndrome (not always on night two), is an incredibly common phenomenon that catches thousands of new parents off guard every single day. What’s happening is that your baby has gone from the warm, dark comfort of your womb into the bright, overwhelming outside world. By the second night, they’re processing this change and seeking comfort in the only way they know how - by staying close to you and feeding
frequently.

This intense cluster feeding serves an important biological purpose. It signals your body to ramp up milk production, triggering your milk to come in over the following days. Your baby isn’t starving and you’re not failing! They’re doing exactly what nature intended. The challenge is that almost nobody warns you this might happen, so when it does, you’re left feeling panicked and alone in the middle of the night.

If you find yourself in the throes of night two syndrome, know that it will pass. Keep your baby skin-to-skin, let them feed as much as they want, and ask your partner or support person to bring you snacks, water, and whatever else you need. You’re not doing anything wrong - you’re doing everything right.

2. Cluster Feeding Doesn’t Stop After Night Two
Whilst we’re on the subject, let’s address cluster feeding more broadly. Night two might be your dramatic introduction to this phenomenon, but it certainly won’t be your last encounter with it. Cluster feeding - when your baby wants to nurse frequently over several hours - is something
that can happen throughout your entire breastfeeding journey, particularly during growth spurts
and developmental leaps.

You might find your baby cluster feeding during the witching hours every evening for weeks on end. Or they might suddenly start feeding constantly for a few days when they hit a growth spurt at three weeks, six weeks, three months, or beyond. It’s exhausting and can leave you feeling touched out and desperate for just a moment to yourself.

The thing nobody tells you is that cluster feeding is actually a sign that everything is working as it should. Your baby is increasing your supply to meet their growing needs. They’re seeking comfort during a period of rapid development. They’re not feeding this frequently because you don’t have enough milk or because something is wrong with your supply. They’re doing it
because it works.

That said, knowing cluster feeding is normal doesn’t make it any easier when you’re living through it. Give yourself permission to do the absolute minimum during these periods. Order takeaway, let the laundry pile up, and settle in with snacks, water, and something to watch. This phase will pass, even though it might not feel like it in the moment.

3. Your Nipples Will Change Color (Like a Sweet Being Sucked!)
Here’s something I wish someone had told me during pregnancy: your nipples are about to go on quite a journey. During pregnancy, the areola - the pigmented area around your nipple - becomes significantly darker. This is driven by hormones and serves an evolutionary purpose, making it easier for your newborn to locate and latch onto your breast.

But what happens after birth is equally fascinating and somehow never discussed. Over the months and years of breastfeeding, that deep pigmentation gradually fades. It’s remarkably similar to how a boiled sweet slowly loses its color as you suck on it - the pigment gradually lightening until, by the time you wean, your nipples may have returned to something closer to their pre-pregnancy shade.

This process is entirely normal and nothing to worry about. It’s simply your body responding to hormonal changes throughout your breastfeeding journey. Some women find their areolas never quite return to their original color, whilst others find they fade almost completely. There’s no right  or wrong way for this to happen - it’s simply another one of those remarkable ways your body adapts to motherhood.

I mention this not because it’s medically significant, but because these small, unspoken changes can catch you off guard! When you notice your body changing in ways nobody warned you about, it’s easy to wonder if something is wrong. Rest assured, your nipples changing color over time is just another normal part of the breastfeeding experience.

4. You Don’t Have to Stop When You Return to Work
One of the most pervasive myths about breastfeeding is that returning to work means the end of your nursing journey. You’ve probably heard from well-meaning friends, family members, or even healthcare providers that you’ll need to wean before going back to work, or at the very least, that maintaining your supply whilst working will be impossibly difficult.

This simply isn’t necessarily true. Thousands of mothers continue breastfeeding successfully after returning to work, whether they’re gone for eight hours a day or traveling overnight for business. The key is understanding your rights, planning ahead, and being flexible about what works for you and your baby.

In the UK, you have the legal right to take breaks to express milk at work and your employer must provide a suitable private space for you to do so. You might choose to pump during the day and nurse your baby morning, evening, and night. Or perhaps your baby is older and eating solids, so you pump less frequently or not at all, simply nursing when you’re together. Some mothers find that their babies reverse cycle feed - taking less milk during the day and nursing more at night when mum is home.

There’s no single right way to balance work and breastfeeding. What matters is finding an approach that feels sustainable for you and meets your baby’s needs. You might need to
advocate for yourself at work, and you’ll almost certainly need to be organized about pump parts, storage, and expressing schedules. But if you want to continue breastfeeding after
returning to work, you absolutely can. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise! Download my free guide on returning to work as a breastfeeding mother here:https://www.thebreastfeedingmentor.com/product-page/returning-to-work-and-breastfeeding

5. Stopping Breastfeeding May Be the Hardest Part

Here’s perhaps the most under-discussed truth of all: weaning can be emotionally devastating, even when it’s your choice and the right decision for your family. You might expect to feel relief or freedom when you finally stop breastfeeding. Instead, you might find yourself grieving the end of this intimate chapter of your relationship with your child.

Nobody warns you that your last breastfeed might leave you in tears, mourning the loss of those quiet moments together. Nobody mentions that you might feel an overwhelming sense of sadness as your body stops producing milk, as if you’re losing a part of yourself. And almost nobody talks about how hard it can be when your child seems completely unbothered by weaning whilst you’re falling apart.

This grief is real and valid, whether you breastfed for three weeks or three years. You’re not only saying goodbye to nursing itself - you’re marking the end of a unique period of closeness, of being your child’s primary source of comfort and nutrition. It’s a profound transition, and it’s okay to feel sad about it, even if you’re simultaneously relieved or ready to move on.

Equally, if you don’t feel sad about weaning, that’s completely normal too. Some mothers feel nothing but joy and liberation when they stop breastfeeding, and that’s just as valid. There’s no right way to feel about the end of your nursing journey. What matters is acknowledging that for many mothers, stopping breastfeeding is far more emotionally complex than they ever anticipated. Download my free mini weaning guide here:https://www.thebreastfeedingmentor.com/start-weaning-with-love-today

The Unspoken Reality
The common thread running through all of these truths is simple: breastfeeding is far more complex, challenging and transformative than most people let on. It’s not just about feeding your baby - it’s about navigating profound physical and emotional changes, managing societal expectations, and making countless decisions about what works for your unique situation.

If you’re currently in the thick of your breastfeeding journey and feeling overwhelmed by something nobody warned you about, please know you’re not alone. These experiences - the exhausting cluster feeds, the unexpected body changes, the emotional complexity of it all - are shared by countless mothers who have gone before you and those who will come after you.

For evidence-based, heart-lef support in all things nursing, pumping and beyond, my Penguin debut, ‘The Breastfeeding Survival Guide,’ is available to order here:https://www.thebreastfeedingmentor.com/book

With love, 

Danielle X